The Early Days

In the past few weeks since Bowen's 1st birthday, I've been reminiscing quite a bit about this time last year and how happy and incredibly whole I felt. The first couple weeks after Bowen's birth, I was the happiest I've been in my entire life. Being a mother seemed the most natural role in the world to me and although it amazed me, it was not shocking at all. I always knew it would be that way. A total euphoria encompassed the 3 of us and I remember Stewart and I agreeing we'd never been more in love. Something pure and real had bonded us in a way nothing else could. My labor had been long and difficult, we were both sleep deprived and exhausted, but we had gotten to the other side and nothing could compare to looking at the child we had created and brought into the world. No distractions, no agendas, no schedules, no visitors. It was just all about us 3 and our bonding. I was, then, and still am, so thankful for the gift of those weeks. Many people had told me how much we'd need and want help from others, that caring for a new baby on your own was totally unmanageable. I certainly don't want to discount other's experiences, because each person is different, but my gut told me that wouldn't be the case for us and I am so glad I listened. The first week after Bowen's birth, while Stewart was home, we spent time going out to the pubs for lunch, a beer, walks by the river and just soaking in our new existence with Bowen. I know those moments, that peace, will never be duplicated. There was a calm about the days that I'm sure wouldn't have been there had we been surrounded from the very beginning by our friends and family. I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life. One incredibly special moment was celebrating my 30th birthday with my 5 day old daughter in my arms. The thought of it brings happy tears to my eyes. Now, a year later, it's a different kind of elation. Feeling blessed with a happy, healthy 1 year old who's able to return my love, cuddles, smiles and kisses. She's just the best and I want to continuously remind her of how much happiness and joy she brought us then, in those early days, every day since and to come.

My 30th Birthday

My 31st Birthday